I have been trying to prepare my kids to move the hell out of my house since they could walk. I don’t want them living with me forever, that’s for sure. I mean when they are 18-see ya later! If they are in college, okay they can come back and visit during breaks and summers, but when they graduate, they got to go.
I don’t understand young people that live at home in their 20’s. I mean, why??? I know they are just starting out and don’t have money, I get that, but enough is enough. Here is how I am ensuring my kids are going to move out timely. I have been talking to them about life goals since they were in kindergarten. What do you want to be when you grow up, what kind of house do you want to live in, what kind of car do you want to drive? Well, honey, that Porsche and that mansion cost money.
When they got to middle school we started discussing student loans, mortgages and bills with them. They needed to understand that they can’t get a degree that is $100K and get a job when they graduate making $25K. I did that myself and I tell them that I made a lot of mistakes and got the wrong degree, took too long to graduate and borrowed too much money. Now I pay damn near an extra mortgage payment every month for those loans.
I encouraged them to explore their interests and hobbies. My son was really interested in Engineering and Robotics for a while so we sent him to summer camp two years in a row through the Envision Program exploring STEM programs (science, technology, engineering and math). He is no longer interested in it, but at least now he knows. Kids need to try different things, similar to sports to see what they are good at and what they show aptitude for. Isn’t it better to know before they graduate from college that they don’t want to sit behind a computer all day before they got that computer science degree? You know what would happen then? They quit their job to find something they like and they end up in your basement sucking up all the damn internet.
For a short period of time, my daughter wanted to be a Veterinarian, so I took her to the vet with me and my dog. She went into the exam room, where the doctor examined the dog. As soon as we got in the car, my daughter turns to me and says, “I don’t want to be a vet anymore”. I was a little surprised because I thought the visit went well. She went on to explain that there was no way in hell she was ever going to stick her finger up a dog’s ass! I laughed and explained it wasn’t the doctor’s hand up the dog’s ass, but a thermometer, but she did not care.
She has moved on to Crime Scene Investigator, as an option. So, next semester (she’s a freshman in high school) she is going to take a forensic science class. We also had to have a discussion about realistic college choices for this degree. It all depends on which direction she wants to go in, but to be a actual CSI, you need an associate’s degree. She started searching online for schools that offered this degree. Most of the colleges were online, but she did find one that she thought would be a good fit, it was in Minnesota. Now, we live in New Hampshire, so I was like ah NO! I am not paying all that money for her to be in Minnesota, dorming and paying for flights back and forth for breaks. No way, she can take her happy ass to a college in New Hampshire or Massachusetts. I would consider a college anywhere in New England really, but there is no way I am paying for flights to and from college for a associates degree she can get in out backyard. I told her she needed to be smart about it and told her she could even get that degree online. She didn’t like that idea, which I totally understand, because I want her to have the real college experience. I think it is a good experience for kids to dorm, meet new people and be a little independent before getting out into the world.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think there is anything wrong with an associates degree, if that’s what she really wants to do. I just don’t want to pay all that money or have her go into debt to go to a school far away, when she likely won’t be able to pay her students loans back very quickly with the average salary.
I want my children to be happy in their lives and career choices, but I also don’t want them to have to struggle or live with me until they are 30. I am also realistic and know that college isn’t the only choice for them. I have talked to them about other choices too, but either way they if they aren’t in school or working full time, they need to get out of my house.
I am sorry, but they are not going to be 20 years old living at home working part time at a fast food restaurant, with no interest in pursuing full time work. NO WAY! They are smart kids and can get decent jobs and make good salaries. They just need to make smart decisions and prepare for their future.
I will not be having any slackers living in my basements. I will be damn if I wake up, go to get a cup of coffee and there is some random stranger sitting at the counter in my son’s old T-shirt. Nope, not in my house. Get off your ass, get a career and move the fuck out!