Since my kids are getting older, I am having a hard time coming to the realization that they just don’t need me anymore. I know that I am their mom and they will always need me! I am not feeling sorry for myself of being sad. I am just facing reality that they don’t need me to be around them 24/7 anymore. They don’t need me to make them lunch everyday or cut up their fruit. They are teenagers and are pretty self sufficient, besides being able to drive.
So, what do I do now? They have been my whole life for the past 14 years. I haven’t had much free time to get drinks with friends or go see the latest movies! I haven’t really had any time at all to make friends, period. I have put all of my energy into making sure my kids had what they needed and ensuring they were well rounded that I forgot about myself. I forgot that I needed hobbies, activities and friends.
I am now I am 44 years old with absolutely no hobbies or interests. I used to like to write when I was younger and that is why I have started this blog. I hope to find passion in writing again. Plus writing about what you know is kind of therapeutic. I get to write down things that are on my mind and I also get to help other people too. I mean there has to be someone else out there that feels the same way I do. We shall see how it goes, I am fairly new at this, only 4 months and I am still very much enjoying this! I may not have a ton of subscribers, but I am hoping to grow and continue to share my stories.
I have been told by several people, that I am funny and that I make them laugh. Which I always thought, but didn’t really have any genuine proof. When I was in my early 20’s I used to dream of becoming a stand up comic. I know a pipe dream, but I thought that would be fabulous. I wanted to think of a way that I could us my humor and get it out into the world without standing up in front of a live audience. Let’s face it no one wants to be the gal up on stage telling jokes and hearing crickets. So, I started my Youtubechannel to tell funny stories. I also added in my experience as a mom of teens to the mix to try to relate to people like me. That again is in its early stages and I have very few subscribers, but I am having fun. I also do shorter videos on my Instagram and Facebook pages as well.
I love blogging and making videos, but I work from home too for my paying gig and I need to get out of this house. So, I have been doing some research about gardening and food forests. I have 12 acres of land right now that are basically going to waste. It has so much potential and with a little work it could be fabulous. So, I am slowly starting to dive into that project.
Oh! I also took a sewing class to finally learn how to use my sewing machine and a made a nice throw pillow, but I don’t think that is for me. Since taking the class that damn sewing machine hasn’t left the spot on the floor where I left it. I tried knitting a scarf once and that too just wasn’t my cup of tea. I did some cake decorating class and I really enjoy that. So, when people ask me I do make cakes and cupcakes. I even have a board on Pinterest of all the cakes and other things that I have made.
I would love to spend some quality time with my husband, but he started his own business about 3 years ago and he is so engulfed in that, it is hard for him to find time to do anything else. Whenever we can we try to spend time together, but it is few and far between. We like to go out riding on the 4-wheelers, which we did this past weekend and had a blast.
I did join some committees in town to try to get out of the house and meet people. I did that for about a year and decided that I am not the kind of person that can be on those committees. I have a short fuse and I find it hard sometimes to bite my tongue, so that was the end of that. I am slowly dipping my feet into different waters and I looking forward to my new found freedom. I hope that I find something that I love, meet new people and find new adventures. So, yes my kids are getting older and don’t need me to hold their hand anymore, but I am now free to enjoy a life outside of my kids. I can find myself and decide what I am interested and what things I want to explore.
So, to all you newly fee parents, tell me what you are doing with all this fee time you have? What kind of hobbies or activities do you enjoy?