Bullied Myself

I saw a video on Facebook yesterday that was so disturbing to me.  It was about an experiment that was done at Burger King, where a teenage boy was being bullied and picked on by 3 other boys. Meanwhile the staff was “bullying” the burgers they were serving (smashing them and such).  The video showed a ton of people complaining about their burgers being smashed.   Only a few adults stepped in to say anything to the group of boys.  I mean grown ass men and women sitting in Burger King eating their food watching this poor kid be pushed, ridiculed and food thrown at him.  Please watch the video and share it!  People need to be positive role models for the younger generation! Parents need to raise their children to be good human beings!  Don’t raise bullies  people! Make sure your child is kind and treats people well.  Check in with your kids make sure they know that being a little asshole is not ok!  If you hear that your child is being a bully, put your foot down and ensure that his kind of behavior is not being tolerated!  

This issue hits very close to home for me.  I was bullied relentlessly from 6th-11th grades.  In  6th grade we had moved for the hundredth time and I had to start yet another new school.  We were very poor and I had no-name clothes, buck teeth, an outdated haircut, welfare glasses and severe acne.  I am really showing my age now.  Back then when you went to the eye doctor and you had state health insurance you could only pick from a handful of glasses, and none of them were a good option.  They were just terrible!  I would try not to wear them very often, but I was blind without them.

I lived with my father, brother and sister in a duplex right behind the school.  It was a great neighborhood and there were a ton of kids on my street.  I loved hanging with my best friend Jen (Jenni back then).  We did everything together.  She was my saving grace.  However, at school it was pure torture!  Kids would make fun of my clothes, my acne, my teeth… pretty much everything.  I would go home almost every day crying. I even contemplated suicide various times.

I wanted to share with you a few of the worst memories from when I was bullied.  These are just a few that stick in my mind still to this very day and I am in my forties.  People need to realize the hurt never goes away.  It definitely diminishes.  I don’t think about it all the time, however when I see  a video like this it brings up all sorts of memories.

1. I got a call one night from one of the “popular boys” at school.  Let’s call him ‘Tim’.  Tim told me that ‘Paul’ (another made up name) had a crush on me and was too shy to ask me out.  Tim gave me Paul’s number and told me to call Paul and ask him out.  I should have known that his was a sham, but I was so desperate for friends that I decided to fell for it hook, line and sinker.  I called Paul.  He was very nice to me on the phone. He  indicated  he would think about it and get back to me.  I hung up and actually thought that this might be real! Oh boy was a sorely mistaken!  The next day everyone was laughing at me and pointing.  People were saying things like ,”Why would Paul like someone as ugly as her?”  It was absolute torture for a number of days. So bad that I wanted to drop out of school.  Despite my feelings, my dad was so strict that he made me go to school every day.  EVER DAMN DAY!

2. My best friend Jenni talked me into trying out for the cheer leading squad at school.  I knew I wasn’t going to make the squad.  I was not popular and people didn’t like me, but I tried out anyway because I so wanted to be popular and I was just hoping for a shot.  A bunch of us girls that were trying out were walking down the hall and ‘Ed” (another fake name) was walking towards us.  He looked right at me and said, “You’re too ugly to be a cheerleader”.  Some of the girls said stuff back to him and told me to ignore him, but sometimes words hurt like a knife.  This still stabs me in the gut because Ed was one of the meanest people.  From middle school all the way through Junior year of high school, until I moved again he tormented me. So much so,  I joke around with my husband regularly that I want to go back for a high school reunion and have him kick Ed’s ass!!! I know, I know. It’s stupid and I would never have him do it, but the satisfaction of seeing Ed get his ass kicked would be amazing!  Hey ED! I hope you are not aging well and look like shit!

3. This incident didn’t happen at school, but it still has a lasting effect on me.  I was hanging out with people I thought were my friends. Every time I hung out with them they would make fun of me and tell me I was ugly or that my acne was disgusting!  I still hung out with them because I couldn’t sit in my room for one more day.  I figured if I didn’t hang out with them I would be home writing in my journal and crying myself to sleep.  One day, we were all hanging out and one of the guys took my sneaker and decided to piss in it. He literally pissed in my shoe! I started to cry, got on my bike and rode home crying all the way.  I was so upset. We were poor and there was no way my dad was going to buy me new sneakers.  So, I washed them the best that I could, but I had to wear those pissy sneakers for months!

OK enough of the sad shit!  I am so much better now.  I buy my own glasses, I buy my own clothes, I have a great job and a husband who is not only hot, but 10 years younger than me.  So, to all you fucking assholes from middle and high school you can SUCK IT!

Check out my YouTube video on this same subject for more https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdbaH0pRsQM&t=2s

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