Back to School Morning Routine

Set your alarm for 20 minutes before you want to get up (do night before)

Hit snooze

Hit snooze again

Swear at your alarm

Shut your alarm off

Go to the bathroom

Drag your ass to the kitchen

Start a pot of coffee

Go to your children’s rooms and tell them it is time to get up

Prepare a cup of coffee

Set out bowls, spoons and cereal

Go back to your children’s rooms and threaten to move up their bed time if they don’t get out of bed

Ensure your children take their vitamins

While they are eating get dressed – in yoga pants and a t-shirt

Put hair in a bun

Place breakfast dishes in the sink

Make your children’s lunches

Threaten to beat your child’s ass if they miss the bus

Ensure your child brushes their teeth and washes their face

Help with any hair styles

Remind kids to put their homework in backpacks

Remind kids to grab their lunch

Feed the animals

Tell the kids to go outside and wait for the bus

Run after your child with their lunch box

Yell I love you really loud as the bus approaches

Wave goodbye vigorously as they get on the bus

Notice that your child forgot their homework

Drive to school to drop off homework

Go home and heat up your coffee in the microwave